Whine Whine Whine...

What I need tonight is someone to hold me while I cry and lie to me, telling me it's all going to be okay.

Instead, I will drink a glass (or three) of wine and listen to sad, sad songs, until I get bored of my own self pity.

Yeah Yeah Yeah

So, as some people have gleefully and not so gleefully pointed out, today is Talk Like a Pirate Day. Normally this day passes me by without notice as I don't so much have a thing for pirates (with one or two notable exceptions). This year though, I thought it should be recorded for posterity that if you ask my daughter; "What does a pirate say?" she answers with a resounding:

AARRRRR!

Two year olds are so much better than television.

I Am Not Looking For A New England...

"I saw two shooting stars last night
I wished on them but they were only satellites
Is it wrong to wish on space hardware?"

The Secret Life of Babies

According to the new daycare worker, my child has been speaking Polish.

Yeah, I have no idea either.

Random Quotes From a Monday Night...

~ "If you start dating 23 year olds, won't it be confusing trying to decide if you should offer them a post-coital cigarette or cookies and milk?"

~ "That will be me, that girl over there. Drinking a pint alone and so earnestly writing in her journal. But I will wear much cuter shoes."

~ "These girls, they are so into money it is frightening. Does the Visa machine come out before or after sex? Or is it built in?"

~ "They have perfectly highlighted hair and are always tanned. What will they look like in twenty years? Albino raisins?"

~ "I can handle a certain amount of superficiality. Especially if it comes in a cute package."

One Day She Will Learn How To Use This Sentence to Her Advantage...

My little baby girl just said "I love you."

Toddler: 1 Apartment: 0

One small person stuck inside all day means that my apartment is getting it's ass kicked. I feel like I have been following behind her all day trying to keep up but she is, sadly, much faster than me. I really hope the weather changes tomorrow, or I might just have to move rather than try and tackle cleaning up.