Holy Crap, I'm Thirty

Holy Crap! I'm Thirty!

Sheesh. When did that happen? I look at my life sometimes, with a newborn and a ten year old stepson and a husband and I wonder how exactly I got here. It's amazing really. Last year at this time I was pregnant and didn't even know it yet! I am sure I could wax a little more philosophical for you all, but I'm afraid I'm really, reaaally tired and my brain isn't working at full capacity these days.

I did want to mention something, though, on this exciting day that marks the end of a whole decade of life. I met my sixteen year old alter ego on the street the other day. It was very disconcerting, as you can imagine. I was walking along, my cute little darling asleep in the sling (you thought I might get through an entire entry without mentioning how cute she was, admit it)and this girl approached me from the opposite direction. She was the same build and colouring as me, and was wearing a black leather jacket, black shirt, a short black pleated skirt (one of those ones with the straight waist that is pleated at the bottom that are now back in style), white and black striped knee high socks and a pair of eight hole Doc's. I still have my striped socks - they were last worn by Tangwystl as part of a Halloween costume. It was very strange to see me at sixteen walking around in someone else's body. I wanted to go up to her and tell her that it might not look like it now, with my shoulder covered in baby puke and hair that looks like it was attacked by a weed whacker, but I used to be her. I figured that would really freak her out though, and most likely mark my official descent into crazy lady territory.

I would like to hold off on official crazy ladyness until I can find a really huge floppy hat to wear on market days. If you are going to do something, you shouldn't do it halfway.

Three Months!

Dear Teagan,

You are three months old now! Three whole months! This past month has brought exciting things, like sleeping through the night! Of course, it isn't all the time, or even most of the time, but when you do there is much rejoicing. Well, actually there is much sleeping, but there is rejoicing when I wake up and realize it is morning and not two am. And the napping! The long naps you occasionally grace us with! I run around like a crazy woman, doing dishes and folding laundry (with a good dose of knitting and reading and surfing the internet - no one can live on housework alone) while you blissfully sleep. Oh the sleeping, how we love the sleeping.



You've done more than just sleep, of course. You learned how to suck your thumb, and how to roll from front to back, and from your back to your side. You can also wiggle yourself in a complete circle, rotating on the axis that is your bum.

The absolute best thing is your laugh. You started to laugh this month, and it is the sweetest sound on this earth. The first time you laughed, we were having a lovely conversation where I asked you probing questions on the state of world, and you answered with much babbling and drooling. Then you let out a great big laugh. You looked so shocked that such a sound emerged from your body, and you went perfectly still. Then you started to cry.

Being little is hard sometimes, isn't it?

I can tell you now that being a Mommy involves a lot of worrying. I worry that you aren't eating enough, or you are eating too much, or if you are growing too fast or too slow. I worry that you might poke your own eye out with your amazing flailing fists. I worry that you might be getting bored, and immediately pull out all your toys and wave them in your face while you stare at the crazy lady. Right now I am a little worried that your hair is going to fall out. The back of your head is getting that fuzzy look of a well loved stuff toy. Although, if your hair did fall out then your Daddy and I could stop arguing about how red it is on any given day.



I don't think I have told you this yet, but I dreamed about you before you were born. While I was pregnant I had a dream that I gave birth to this amazing squawking round headed baby with massive amounts of red hair. In my dream, we named you Maeve. When you were born, you looked exactly like the baby in my dream. We had a last minute change of heart though, and named you Teagan - since the baby in my dream screamed A LOT.

Mommy thanks the heavens every day for your lack of screaming.



Love, Mom

My Little Sleepyhead...

So, for her first two months of life, Teagan didn't nap. She just didn't. Oh sure, sometimes you could coax a nap out of her if you stuck her in her swing at just the right moment, but really it was a gamble. She liked napping in the sling or the stroller as long as there was NO STOPPING EVER. Pausing to chat with someone or to check out a cool pair of shoes was simply not tolerated. Sometimes she would have a little twenty minute catnap, and then be refreshed for another day of squawking and squeaking and smiling. I, on the other hand, wasn't quite so refreshed. I kept walking into rooms and not being able to remember why I was there. I would find myself holding the phone and pondering who it was I was going to call. If I paused in the middle of a sentence, I forgot what I was going to say. I fell asleep sitting up.

This past week has been bliss. She naps! Several times a day! For hours at a time! I've gotten laundry done and dishes washed. I can complete a whole entire sentence without Cliff Notes. I started knitting again. It's a miracle!

Although... as my baby peacefully sleeps yet again, I can't help but notice it's kind of quiet in here.